It sounds simple right? Single or in an actual relationship, most people would say easily enough that that love themselves. We hear it all the time in one form or another splattered all over one form of social media or another, but I want to have an honest conversation with you about self love. True self love, not just surface self love, not the social media bravado, none of that. I’m talking about that behind closed doors, up late at night, subconscious thoughts kind of self love.
It’s tragic really, in a time of so much technological advancement with opportunities to connect not just with others but with ourselves I find that so many many people are missing out on that self love. Take a minute for me and think, think back to the last truly and honestly good thing you said about yourself TO YOURSELF, or the last time you slowed down to genuinely have some “me time” that didn’t correlate to how you would be seen by somone else or how it might raise your status or bring out droves of likes on Facebook. Do you have that moment in mind? Good, I’ll come back to that in a couple minutes.
Now I want you to think about your perfect mate, whether you’re single or dating or married or what have you, it doesn’t matter just image your perfect mate. What would you expect of them when they “loved” you? Kindness? Positive affirmations? Affection? Occasional pampering? Respect? Would they challenge you to be better? Would they find you attractive, smart, witty, fun,and funny? Grab a pencil and a sticky note or a piece of paper and write it down, (yes seriously write it down) just 3-4 things that your perfect mate would embody when you think about them loving you.
Now that you have that, I want you to go back to the first thing I asked about remembering the last time you loved on you, did you embody those same 3-4 things? Did you find yourself kind, loving, genuine? Did you support yourself through a rough spot? Were you affectionate?
It’s all too easy to have these expectations of another person, all too easy to demand to be loved in a way that makes us not only feel it but believe it. However, it seems that when it comes to loving ourselves we struggle wholeheartedly to do it in a genuine fashion on a REGULAR basis. Why is that?
In a world with media so saturated in what we SHOULD be according to the latest trend or sensation we lose sight of what is so amazing about what we ALREADY ARE!
Anytime you start feeling like you aren’t enough remember two words… “I am”… Those same words God spoke many many times throughout the Bible, simple and sweet, I am. Now that sounds ridiculous I know, you’re sitting here reading this thinking “Who is this chick and why is she dilusional enough to believe that two words can change everything?”… And I’ll be frank, it won’t change everything, it won’t stop bad things from happening but what it will do is change the way you react to it. Ultimately you only have 2 choices in life, you can let things happen to you and let them break you or you can take the bull by the horns and let it shape you.
The power behind I am is all about self love, about understanding who you are as a person and LOVING every inch of yourself as is. This can be so hard for some people, admittedly I still have issues with it somedays, weight will fluctuate, an injury will flare up, I fail at something, something goes awry and ultimately that is when decision time matters. No I’m not perfect but I AM a work in progress, God is not done with me just yet. I AM beautiful, even with things I want to tone up or slim down. I AM powerful because I know that I am capable of all things because I have the greatest weapons in my corner… Self love and my relationship with Christ. “Be strong and brave, do not be afraid, for I am the Lord your God. I am with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9.
So I challenge you all this week to indulge in some self love. Take that sticky note and put it where it will remind you of how you deserve to treat yourself. Be kind to yourself, you are the only you you get. Don’t be afraid to believe that you could be and are the best partner you will ever have on Earth.
Go forth and love!
Faith, Courage, & Potential 